Your Secret’s Safe With Me – Confessions From The Changing Room

by Kirsty McAspurn

For many of us, standing in front of a stranger in our bra is an awkward moment, something that we don’t feel particularly comfortable about even if the other person is there to check the fit and size of the bra. For this reason (and others), lots of ladies don’t get their bras fitted as regularly as they should. But I’m not here to discuss reasons for not having a bra fitting (there are lots) but to think about those who are getting fitted.

That moment of saying “could you check it for me?” and having someone you don’t know at all seeing you in a state of undress. To disguise any discomfort that ladies may have, most do the one thing they do in situations that they feel uncomfortable about – they talk.

It doesn’t matter what the topic of conversation may be, but bra fitters seem to be afforded the same level of confidence that only hairdressers, counselors and best friends are given otherwise.

And don’t get me wrong, I’ve had men in the changing room who have exactly the same response to the situation. Ladies, it’s not just you.

Probably, at this stage, I should be prepared to put out there a confession of my own. Okay, here we go, please don’t judge me too harshly. I… well, I… (this is harder than I thought, I mean, I hardly know you… here goes), Iwashmybrasinthewashingmachine. There, I said it. And actually it feels good. I think I’ll say it again. I wash my bras in the washing machine. (Okay, I do use a lingerie bag, but in the machine they go).


It would be unprofessional of me to tell you the confessions of others; even though I am not under the same code of conduct as a counselor, I want my customers to know that their secrets are safe with me. However, I can say that some are quite juicy…

For some, when entering a lingerie shop they are looking for something specific. Perhaps something to stay in with rather than going out, and therefore by talking to the shop assistant they are more likely to find what they are after. The more information, the easier it is to find the right things – although not too much information, somethings I really don’t need to know!

For others it is being able to share something personal, with someone who has nothing to do with their lives and doesn’t judge. Being able to get some things off of their chest (quite literally in the case of bras) and knowing that there will be no comeback.

And yet still, customers also find that by talking about what’s going on in their lives they can receive better service, and a good assistant will remember repeat customers, and ask how things are now, and if the underwear did the trick it was intended for.

So, when off to the lingerie boutique, what you advertently tell the assistant is something you should never have to worry about. Your secret’s safe with me.

Kirsty, owner of Curvature Boutique

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Amber August 14, 2014 - 9:56 pm

So here is my question to you and your staff or other women. I am a Trans-Woman and just in the beginning transition phase. I’m sure you have men who come into your store and try on bra’s. Lets face it, there is a sizeable crossdressing/transgender community of us who also enjoy wearing pretty bra’s and lingerie.

If a CD, TS, TG person were come into your store would you and your staff be ok waiting on them? I know we are just another customer but would the same amount of attention be spent on the person? I know that when I first began buying Bra’s and panties I felt uncomfortable going into the womens section and looking at things and would hurriedly buy something and get out. I was never approached by sales staff or assisted in anyway. The same thing still happens today but I do take my time and find something that i like and usually have my sizes when I go in. Not having breasts I know that I wear a 38A but have a very hard time finding that size of bra because it doesn’t seem to be very common. I either find a 36 or a 40.

I was just wondering what your thoughts are and if you have any advice?

Thank you,


Kirsty August 14, 2016 - 11:12 am

Hi Amber.

Personally, I have an everybody is welcome ethos. I have sized men and women for their underwear and believe that all customers should be treated the same. Corsets especially need some fitting, and men appreciate the time I spend with them finding the right piece.
I can spend a long time helping a man find the idea underwear for his lady, getting style and sizing right, to be honest, it is easier to help a person when you can see the the items fit and can advise accordingly.

I appreciate that not all shops work in the same way, but for me, I have a pride in what I sell, and that it fits as well as possible. Catering for a male physique with female lingerie is more of a challenge and gets the old grey matter working in order to help you find the best items for you.

Have you looked at non-wired bras? Having stocked Ruby (a South African brand) that is non wired, lace and non cupsized, the cups lay beautifully against the skin. This is something that might be worth you considering as a way of finding nice items that fit well.

If you have any other questions, I’d be happy to answer them for you.